Trump Revokes PBS Funding After Antique Grandfather Clock Receives Meager Appraisal

[Zorro]

WASHINGTON—Signing the executive order just minutes after storming off the set, President Donald Trump revoked federal funding for PBS this week after his grandfather clock reportedly received a lower-than-expected Antiques Roadshow appraisal.

“For Christ’s sake, $2,500?” said a visibly flabbergasted Trump, who appeared to grow more and more irate as the appraiser explained that the longcase clock was likely a reproduction from the 1980s and not the 19th-century family heirloom the commander-in-chief had claimed it was.

“This is solid walnut, handcrafted in the Black Forest. This thing is worth $25,000 at the least. You must be out of your mind. You’re crazy. What are your qualifications, anyway? You people will never see a cent out of me again.”

At press time, sources confirmed Trump was scraping the “Made in China” sticker off the clock.

https://theonion.com/trump-revokes-pbs-funding-after-antique-grandfather-clock-receives-meager-appraisal/

[riversedge]

1. ha ha.

[orangecrush]

2. ...

[stillcool]

3. this one had me

all the way to the end.

[Brainfodder]

4. Headline could use one less letter!