Elon ain't happy.

[Swede]

it’s genuinely reassuring to me that this is the most miserable and paranoid person in the entire world

— onion person (@junlper.beer) 2026-02-05T01:16:47.456Z

[newdeal2]

1. Still hurt that he wasn't invited to Epstein's wildest parties

Too much even for pedo island.

[Jack Valentino]

56. or maybe impatient that the U.S. Nazi Party is not yet officially recognized....

(also still unhappy that blacks in South Africa are allowed to vote)....


Yeah, maybe 'money' hasn't bought him 'happiness'---

but then again, most of HIS complaints are NOT
of an economic nature..... but more of a fascist racist political nature!


((ALSO STILL very unhappy that his millions were not able to BUY
a seat on the Wisconsin State Supreme Court !!! ))

[wcmagumba]

2. No shite...what an incredible boor and imbecile...

If I had that money I would spend my days donating and helping others...with some traveling worked in there...

[BidenRocks]

20. Don't put my name on anything!

My only request.

[GopherGal]

3. Couldn't happen to a nicer guy.

[Beetwasher.]

4. Poor baby

[purr-rat beauty]

5. Well....he can take himself

....out of our poor ass misery

And stop welfare queening off our tax dollar!

[UpInArms]

6. Soulless piece of shit

I can only hope his misery never ends

[niyad]

9. Now see, I would like it to end. Today would be good. Ohhh, sorry, I thought

you meant OUR misery about this waste of oxygen.

[SheltieLover]

13. ...

[UpInArms]

18. I can only hope our misery

ends soon … his … not so much

[Hugin]

40. That would make me smile more.

I will leave it at that.

[durablend]

7. Pity

And after he stole everyone's information and probably sold it on the dark web.

JUMP

[niyad]

8. Interesting how many people, just in the first few comments I read,

think he is going to off himself. Would be great, but I think he is too selfish, too manipulative, playing, "ohhhh woeeeee is meeeeeee".

[Leghorn21]

10. HA HA, 1000 replies in a couple of hours!!?

Hey mush, people are catching on
Your little worshippers might be figuring out you’re an actual piece of shit, OH NOES

[kellytore]

11. But it can buy elections and our personal information.

[Enter stage left]

12. Call the whaaaaaambulance...

Poor baby!

[mzmolly]

14. I'm thrilled he's miserable.

He should try being a decent human.

[Klarkashton]

15. Wherever this is headed with that guy I hope there is

No intervention or counseling..

[Joinfortmill]

16. Ha! TickTock, you ain't seen nothin yet!

[littlemissmartypants]

17. Is he still breathing?

[usonian]

19. There's a cure. GIVE IT ALL AWAY!!

Will it make him happy?

Well, there's an old joke, modified for Elon.

Elon is obnoxious.
How obnoxious is he?
He's so obnoxious that the Dalai Lama punched him out.

[Wednesdays]

21. "I don't think you're happy enough."

[ZDU]

30. BRILLIANT! LMMFAO

[Baitball Blogger]

22. Sooo...he thought he could get away with anything because of his money, then.

Thought as much.

Wonder what he's afraid of...

[Deuxcents]

23. France is gonna make him *real* happy when the contents of his Paris office comes to the light

His computers, gadgets, documents, etc were confiscated as he’s been under investigation for a while now..child porno, if I remember correctly

[Swede]

39. He's fucked!

Couldn't happen to a nicer oligarch.

[orangecrush]

24. Self inflicted

[dweller]

25. Cry harder

Nazi shit weasel


✌🏻

[GoCubsGo]

26. If it makes you that miserable, then send it all to me, motherfucker.

Hell, just give me 1% of it. It might not buy me happiness, but some new flooring would be nice. I could use a new sofa, too, among MANY other things.

[UTUSN]

27. "Elon ain't happy." - K&R for, Maybe Mars would be better?!1

[Blues Heron]

28. Fuck that Nazi, why doesn't he slither away and stop inflicting himself on the rest of us. Go to mars prick

[roamer65]

29. Eloon the Pedo.

[ZDU]

31. #sad

#boohoo
#squishsquish
#

[LSparkle]

32. Pauvre petit Lone Skum ...

No one wants to be his pal. Sad.

[Hassler]

33. Maybe he'll be cellmates with Andrew Windsor

[struggle4progress]

34. Moving to Mars might make the man merrier

[Cha]

35. Whoa.. That Makes Me Happy!

That's weird... Isn't that admitting he's in Deep Shit Over his Paris X Offices being Raided?

TY Swede

[Justice matters.]

36. oooh lil privileged baby who defrauded three hundred million citizen

by stealing their private personal data is crying nobody likes him...

boohoohoo

[calimary]

37. GOOD.

That is all.

[stonecutter357]

38. Chomo asking for help !!

[Liberal In Texas]

41. Good. And Tesla stock is taking a nose dive.

https://www.marketwatch.com/investing/stock/tsla

[littlemissmartypants]

46. It's up from what it was six months ago.

[Oneironaut]

42. The whines of a petulant narcissist.

Let us find an electronic microscope so that we can play the world’s smallest violin.

[JudyM]

43. Flip on trump to mend your ways.

[Midnight Writer]

44. Maybe he should use his money for good instead of using it to make even more money.

I know doing good deeds and helping other people out always makes me feel good.

This guy has the means to change the world for the better and all he is doing is using his money to fund fascists and screw people over.

My tip to the unhappy Elon: be a good guy and stop being pals with conmen, fascists, child traffickers, predatory businessmen, and evil politicians.

Trust me, Elon. You'll feel better about yourself if you help the needy and ignore the greedy.

[mdbl]

45. Well, when you cause 2/3 of the US population and numerous other countries to hate you

It starts to feel a bit isolating. Don't worry, just attend a Turning Point USA rally and you'll feel real good again. Or as the Oracle in The Matrix says "Have a cookie" you'll feel right as rain.

[Initech]

47. He could have cashed out and fucked off to some island and never bothered anybody ever again.

But nope, the greedy asshole wants all the money in the world twice over. So fuck off, and fuck you for destroying my country, Elon.

[RainCaster]

48. Slit your throat Elon, we'll all feel much better

[JokeHer]

49. Elon ain't happy

Makes me SO happy!

[Envirogal]

50. But money does buy elections

And access to Americans personal data, and the ability to kill investigations on your illegal business practices, and gets access to Saudi money, and to overpay to buy America’s town square twitter and ruin it. Oh, AND the ability to get more contracts with the US government while he crashes rockets?

If Eloon hates money so much then I wonder why he insisted that Tesla’s board grant him the ability to make $1 trillion dollars, also while he was ruining the company?

Red pill that Musk rat.

[crimycarny]

51. Jokes about suicide--I lost a son to suicide

As a parent who lost a child to suicide, I have to say to be careful about "jokes" regarding Elon ending his life. I don't mean to sound "holier than thou," and I know that people don't mean any harm, but I guarantee there are those on DU who have either lost a loved one to suicide or struggle with their own suicidal ideations.

All of that being said, I've always looked at the way Elon lives his life in horror. You couldn't pay me enough money to be inside his head. No amount of money or power is going to fix whatever is broken in that man. He is terminally miserable.

Reminds me of a friend who worked on Wall Street, briefly, but quit after observing the misery of those he worked for. It terrified him. His boss, for example, was never happy except for a brief "high" after acquiring some new material item (luxury car, jet, house). He never wanted to turn into that person, as he saw the emptiness and misery it was to live that way. He quit and became a youth soccer coach. Not nearly as much money, but far more rewarding.

[Iggo]

52. French authorities would like a moment of your time, fuckface.

[rubbersole]

53. Can't buy respect or class.

They wouldn't be a good fit anyway.

[AKwannabe]

54. Friggin. Hilarious!

Stupid. Man???????

[dickthegrouch]

55. You can only buy happiness

By making other people happy.
Not by exploiting them, blackmailing them, or being a total assh*** to them.

There is a remedy for your sad, Eloon.
Pay the taxes.
Give back ALL of it to the people that really earned it, or that you stole it from.

[LetMyPeopleVote]

57. I am looking forward to this asshole being deposed