"Why can't you SMILE??"

[Sparkly]

It's one of the most obnoxious, annoying, OLD misogynist hisses I know: "Smile, honey! You can't smile? What's wrong with you?!" It's belittling, insulting, hostile, demeaning, shaming, and sexist. Do the same men holler at other men to "smile," or call them "piggy?"

From chauvinist bosses to disgusting street harassers to grotesque construction workers, this has been a question for the ages (I'm old enough to remember it from early Ms. Magazine) : WHY do some men presume to demand that women smile all the time, and specifically, smile at them??

It's hostility in the very same guise as "lighten up a little, honey!" after a variety of harassment or even assault. You are to back down, go along, acquiesce. If you don't smile, you'll get a barrage of insults and verbal attacks; but if you do smile, you'll get a barrage of hoots and hollers that are not intended to be flattering (but hey, lighten up, honey). I don't know what it's like now, but when I was a young woman, these were all threatening, if not always frightening, situations.

Andy Borowitz suggests, "If Trump Wants People to Smile More He Should Resign." He goes on, "We must thank Donald Trump for giving women tips on their facial expressions straight out of an etiquette book from the 1950s." I contend "men's etiquette for women" didn't end in the 1950s.

(Edited to link to Borowitz!)

[dweller]

1. If the Pisswig wants ppl to smile more

He should die sooner

🫤


✌🏻

[sakabatou]

2. *sends a Kuchisake-onna at Dump*

[Sparkly]

3. I had to look that up!

Thank you!

[sakabatou]

4. I was thinking, "That's something a rapist would say. Let's MAKE Dump smile instead."

At first, I thought it was the hachishaku-sama. I knew which oni I was referencing, but I had to look up the right name.

[no_hypocrisy]

5. A woman "smiling" at TSF is a double-bind.

If you don't smile at him, you're a bitch.

I you do smile at him, it's coming on to him; you want him.

The latter is what he's looking for.

[Jedi Guy]

6. My wife's boss asked her that question not so long ago.

Without missing a beat she replied, "Because I work here."

She really enjoyed the look on his face.

[róisín_dubh]

7. I get it a lot in the British pub where I work.

The slugs who say it- generally pissheads who like to rant about immigrants (of which I am one, but the "good kind" - wouldn't dare say it in front of the owner or his partner. They know if they did, they'd be eviscerated. Generally, they get a "I'm here to pour pints, not entertain you" response from me; I'm far more blunt and rude than most Brits are used to.

But it's seriously fucking exhausting.

[MrsCheaplaugh]

8. "Why don't you smile?"

Hearing this sentence always reminds me of a passage in the Autobiograpy of Frederick Douglass where he talks about how slave owners would become suspicious of slaves who failed to smile, deeming them troublemakers. Oppressors and exploiters always want their downtrodden underclass to smile, grin, and dance, whether they're POC or women.

It makes them feel better.

[MineralMan]

9. Exactly. That's it!

Generally, people to tell someone to "smile" are people who very rarely smile. For them, your smile is a sign of obedience.

"Why don't you smile?"

"Because I'm looking at you, maybe."

There are many possible responses to that and other similar questions. None, however, will please the person asking for your smile.