Donald Trump Orders Pentagon: Buy Coal Power, To Whip The Kaiser!

[erronis]

https://www.wonkette.com/p/donald-trump-orders-pentagon-buy
Doktor Zoom

Also, the industry gave him its new Coalpile Peace Prize.

'Coalie,' the Interior Department's fun new coal mascot, observes the first test flight of the Air Force's new coal-powered stealth bomber. B-21 bomber photo by USAF, Coalie by Office of Surface Mining Reclamation and Enforcement.

In his latest attempt to keep the doomed coal industry alive for a few more years, Donald Trump yesterday ordered the US military to enter into long-term contracts to buy electricity generated by coal-burning power plants. He also announced that the Energy Department would be throwing away $175 million to modernize six aging coal plants in Kentucky, North Carolina, Ohio, and West Virginia.

At the White House ceremony where Trump signed his executive order, grateful members of the "Washington Coal Club" -- a front for America's filthiest energy industry -- presented him with a Major Award that they created just for him because he's a special boy. It's a trophy depicting a very hunky underground miner carrying a pick, with the title "Undisputed Champion of Beautiful Clean Coal" inscribed on the base.

Maybe it's just the power of suggestion, but the 1997 sculpture of the little coal hero (guess the industry had a few boxes of the things on hand) even looks a bit like Trump, at least the youngified version of him in AI slop where he's a great big manly muscular action hero. We think we found the original item for sale ($950), and the face on that one looks ... less Trumpy? There could be a fun little investigative story to be done on how this thing came to be.

Weird accolades from polluters notwithstanding, let's just keep in mind that coal is the dirtiest fossil fuel, a huge source of planet-heating greenhouse emissions, and a pollutant that threatens human health. It's also far more expensive than nearly every other energy source except nuclear, which is why coal now generates only 16 percent of US electricity, down from 51 percent in 2001. Abundant fossil gas unlocked by the fracking boom of the last 25 years (a decidedly mixed bag, environmentally) has simply been far cheaper than coal, no matter how much Trump may lie about Democrats doing a "war on coal."

It was capitalism all along.

. . .

[Norrrm]

1. That does not sound like free market capitalism...

That does not sound like free market capitalism...

More like old style communist Russia five year plan.

[erronis]

3. Come on now, comrade. Haven't you learned NewSpeak?

[Norrrm]

5. Nyet

[Norrrm]

2. How do you get Beautiful Clean Coal?

Trump's idea of 'clean' coal

Trump appears to believe that clean coal - which, it must always be pointed out, doesn’t actually exist - is when workers mine coal and then physically “clean it.” That does not happen, but facts have never stopped Trump.

http://time.com/4912730/donald-trump-clean-coal-phoenix/

[erronis]

4. And they turn that nasty black anthracite lily white!

[dalton99a]

6. Kick

[LetMyPeopleVote]

7. MaddowBlog-Coal industry latest to reward Trump with an unnecessary, made-up award

Let this be a lesson to those hoping to curry favor with the White House: If you haven’t visited a store that makes trophies, you’re making a mistake.

Link to tweet

https://www.ms.now/rachel-maddow-show/maddowblog/coal-industry-latest-to-reward-trump-with-an-unnecessary-made-up-award

Republican Party orthodoxy on government subsidies for private industry tends to be straightforward: Industries should rise and fall based on market forces, not politicians picking winners and losers. It’s the same GOP philosophy that says that if a private industry, especially one that’s been around for a while, needs the government to give it taxpayer money, that looks less like capitalism and more like socialism.

Donald Trump, however, makes occasional exception to these rules. The New York Times reported:

President Trump on Wednesday directed the Pentagon to start buying more electricity from coal-burning power plants as part of his efforts to revive the declining coal industry.

Mr. Trump signed an executive order directing Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth to enter into long-term contracts with coal plants across the country to power military installations. The move could provide financial support to dozens of coal plants that might have otherwise been set to retire in the coming years.

“We’re going to be buying a lot of coal through the military now,” the Republican said at a White House event. “We’re lifting up our hardworking American miners like nobody has ever done before.”....

There was one element of the White House event, however, that stood out.

"Sir, to show our appreciation, the trophy says 'the undisputed champion of beautiful, clean coal'"

— Aaron Rupar (@atrupar.com) 2026-02-11T21:56:52.736Z

.....This has been going on for a while now. Shortly after Trump left office in 2021, following his defeat in the 2020 election, the National Republican Senatorial Committee made up an honor for him called the Champion for Freedom Award.

More recently, after the president’s begging didn’t lead to a Nobel Peace Prize, FIFA, soccer’s global governing body, concocted its own peace prize in the hopes of making Trump feel better.

Let this be a lesson to those hoping to curry favor with the White House: If you haven’t already visited a store that makes trophies, you’re making a mistake.

[LetMyPeopleVote]

8. This made me smile