What's Wrong with Pete Hegseth?

[allegorical oracle]

Esquire Opinion by Dave Holmes

“We are punching them while they are down, which is exactly how it should be” will surely echo throughout history, just maybe not in the way he thinks it will (and “throughout history” means “until late Friday morning, maximum,” because who can keep anything in their head anymore). “It was never meant to be a fair fight, and it is not a fair fight”

snip

So … what the hell is wrong with this guy? One word: insecurity. Pete Hegseth is the textbook definition of “overcompensation,” “fragile masculinity,” and “incomplete pull-up.” Hegseth’s words tell you this is a deeply insecure man, and if they don’t, his eyes sure do. Pete Hegseth is the face and the voice and the posture of the classic American man as imagined by the second Trump Administration. This is the way the men and women of the current Cabinet have to speak. They have been given notes on their roles, and the director wants them to sound tough, even when their words reveal that they’re terrified of things like cities and trans people and the Spanish language.

Hegseth’s words reveal him, the lot of them, as the last gasp of the white, male, patriarchal society we were finally just beginning to move past. He’s an extinction burst, he’s Skeet Ulrich popping up one last time at the end of Scream. Great things await us when he and the rest of them are out of the way. But again, he’s in control of the most powerful military in the history of the world, so there’s no guarantee we’ll get there. We will in fact be lucky to survive him.

Great hair though.

https://www.esquire.com/news-politics/a70619766/whats-wrong-with-pete-hegseth/

[EarthFirst]

1. Who can argue with this...

[2naSalit]

2. He's already got...

Alky legs.

How old is this pickled clown?

[B.See]

64. SDE.

[Skittles]

11. *SNORT*

da fook is THAT?

[JustABozoOnThisBus]

25. Zero. You have done zero so far. ...

Five more and you can proceed into the mess hall.

Or, in his case, five more and you can proceed into the bar.

[Skittles]

26. OMG STOP IT JustABozoOnThisBus

YER KILLING ME

[Marcuse]

41. !!

[MW67]

35. I call him

Heg Meth, it's obvious to those of us who have personally seen this this type of behavior up close , he's going fast all the time, also it's a fav of hardcore alcoholics, they can keep drinking for days at a time

[BidenRocks]

15. My old Drill Instructor would like a word!

[sheshe2]

27. Don't forget: Skateboard meets crotch.

[MW67]

39. Sweet

Thanks! Hahaha

[sheshe2]

42. You are very welcome, MW67.

[comradebillyboy]

3. That boy is just eaten up with the dumb ass

Additionally he reflects very badly on his alma mater, Princeton.

[walkingman]

4. Goes back to something I have always said - you don't have to be smart to get a degree.

[comradebillyboy]

6. Judging by the quality of the Harvard, Yale and other Ivy

League grads in the Trump administration you are clearly correct.

[BattleRow]

16. The poisonous Ivy League.

[allegorical oracle]

5. Yep -- used to think George W. Bush was the biggest over-achiever in our

history. Nope. Trump ranks first, but Hegseth is a close second -- tied, perhaps, with RFK, Jr.

[Autumn]

7. He's a dry drunk in public and probably a drunk at home.

[Ray Bruns]

13. Bingo! We have a winner!

[BattleRow]

18. I used to hear a phrase...

Street angel,but house devil.

Probably wouldn't qualify for Purgatory Pete,but,it just seemed somehow appropriate .

[ananda]

32. And don't forget drunk on power ...

and loves using it against anyone.

[Dave Bowman]

43. So in private he's a wet drunk? Ugh, just typing this made me nauseated.

[Uncle Joe]

8. I think he's trying to synchronize or alter American values, and mores to those of Russia or the former Soviet Union

Thanks for the thread allegorical oracle

[AnotherMother4Peace]

9. Today he kept referring to the U.S. as "our Homeland", "the Homeland", "immigrants coming into our Homeland" WTF

[haele]

58. Our White Homeland...

Southern Plantation style.
Where everyone knew their place, and Nepo-Babies and their Mediocre White Male leisure buddies can sit around with their whiskies on the porch sipping and making deals, or sit around the house getting pants drunk (or going out for a short evening tete-a tete with the secretary) while the kids and the little woman are at church doing some charity work for "those people" and to get right with the Lord.

[AnotherMother4Peace]

62. He's such an ugly, sorry ass excuse of a man.

[Blue Full Moon]

10. I'm a Spartan.

Actually an incompetent drunk Faux News host.

[Ray Bruns]

12. "What's wrong with Pete Hegseth"

How much time do you have?

[BattleRow]

20. Ding,ding,ding

[canetoad]

14. He thinks

He's playing Call of Duty in god mode.

[Drum]

17. What ISN'T wrong with Pete Hegseth?

He’s an unintentional parody.

Colin Jost does it better on SNL!

[PatSeg]

19. "Great hair though"

But so much hair product! I get distracted by his hair and just want to shampoo it.

Reminds me of the 1950s and my dad's Wildroot Hair Cream or Brylcream, "A little dab'll do you". Looks like he went beyond a "dab".

Okay, his hair aside, yes there is something seriously wrong with him. We see a lot of that with the men in this administration. It was really unnerving to see him so upbeat and enthusiastic, no remorse about all the innocent lives lost. He didn't have to look freaking happy.

[BattleRow]

22. That greasy hair oil spawned the term

Patent leather head.

[PatSeg]

37. Really?

I hadn't heard that, but it fits. The only thing is all that hair product makes his hair look dirty, but I'm sure he thinks he looks super cool.

[BattleRow]

44. I looked at Hogsbreath hair oil sculpture .and was immediately reminded

of silvery metal helmets..
No
Sheesh...where have we seen that before?

[PatSeg]

46. Oh, now I can picture him in a silvery metal helmet

He really, really wants to play soldier so badly. I wonder what video games he played.

[BattleRow]

56. The operative word is played ..

It's all a play..they play a role....and we the tax payer plays to be played ..
But exactly who is the director,and the producer?

[PatSeg]

61. More importantly

Who is writing the script?

[allegorical oracle]

65. Oh so true. Like we've been caught in the making of a very bad film. T-rump is producer,

director, and runs the box office.

[BattleRow]

66. Pseudo Weinstein Epstein casting couch...

[travelingthrulife]

67. Me too! This is so 1950s. Does anyone other than the Trump family

and their sycophants wear that gunk in their hair?

[PatSeg]

70. It is funny

because he really does seem to have good hair, but that's some major overkill on the hair products. I don't know what look he's going for, but I think he missed it by a mile.

[twodogsbarking]

21. Israel deserves a dishonorable mention. It is, afterall, their war. Maybe. Maybe not. WTF

[Hassler]

23. Of course he's insecure. Kegbreath is a drunken poser

I see him I immediately picture him flexing in front of a mirror and practicing his zingers.

[JustKay]

24. He's a drunk!

[DJ Synikus Makisimus]

28. The list of what's right with Pete Hegseth is shorter.

It's nothing.

[Aviation Pro]

29. No Ranger tab, no Airborne wings, relieved of his platoon command

Last edited Thu Mar 5, 2026, 09:12 PM - Edit history (1)

And sent to a fictitious battalion element called “S-9” where they send failed infantry officers to.

He is the very definition of a tabless bitch and probably chafes at the fact that women have succeeded at Ranger School.

What a fucking loser and poser, that fucking drunk is.

[Blues Heron]

30. He is a rapist with serious Nazi imagery tattooed all over his body. Big drinker too, plus all the military drugs

Not a very good specimen of a man, by a long shot. Should be locked up.

[dalton99a]

48. +1

[txwhitedove]

31. But, but he said "We're in it to win it". ??

[liberalla]

33. Could he be taking steroids to man-up ? (even more)

The steroids could explain the increasing aggression and brutishness.

I'm not an expert on this, but the thought had crossed my mind.

[MW67]

45. Heg Meth

That's my take

[MustLoveBeagles]

68. Your probably right

He's been very brutish & savage, even by his standards. I wouldn't be surprised if he's drinking very heavily. 💪

[Bookreadingliberal53]

34. He's itching to use nukes nt

[OGBuzz]

36. this jagoff probably got his ass kicked every day...

on the playground and now he's looking to show the world who's boss.

[MLWR]

38. What's Wrong with Pete Hegseth?

Everything, Katie.

[Gore1FL]

40. He's trying to pretend to be masculine, but doesn't know what that is. nt

[MustLoveBeagles]

69. Right

A real man wouldn't find it necessary to do this.

[Puppyjive]

47. I agree

The entire administration is incompetent and they know it. Insecure/incapable people have to brag.

[Sogo]

49. I very much disagree about the hair....

nt

[SleeplessinSoCal]

50. How many people relate favorably to this kinda of trash talk?

It seems we've totally abandoned civil discourse - let alone truth. I heard some Texans swearing loyalty to Ken Paxton. Why? It makes no sense to us.

[regnaD kciN]

51. What isn't...?

[Irish_Dem]

52. Drunken rapist man baby.

A toddler psychopath who is never sober.

[greatauntoftriplets]

53. Where should I start?

I hope that "everything" works.

[Initech]

54. The man is totally fucking deranged and out of his mind and brainwashed by Fox?

[MustLoveBeagles]

71. He was FOX anchor so that makes sense

I think he's bought his own bullshit and now he's flinging it. 💩

[Swede]

55. He needs a big glass tumbler full of warm whiskey.

Bad.

[Aussie105]

57. He is a man out of his time.

A Spartan looking to take on overpowering odds, a Viking set out to raid other lands, a Roman gladiator in the arena battling wild animals, a Nazi fighting for the Mother Land.

Fo' sho, some heavy duty long term drug (ab)use there!

[BlueWaveNeverEnd]

59. ...

https://www.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=1341315531374424&id=100064879684661

[vapor2]

60. alcoholic and psychopath

He has made us LESS safe

[thought crime]

63. Everything wrong about Hegseth adds up to the ideal GOP candidate for 2028.

Fox News Crusader Guy. Perfect!

[LetMyPeopleVote]

72. These cartoons made me smile