Trump Administration Offers Free At-Home Loyalty Tests

[groundloop]

https://theonion.com/trump-administration-offers-free-at-home-loyalty-tests/


WASHINGTON—Citing an urgent need to combat dangerous and highly contagious ideas that might lead people to oppose the president, the Trump administration began offering free at-home loyalty tests Tuesday.

The tests, which are distributed through the government website www.LoyaltyTestKits.com and mailed to the homes of U.S. residents, have been described by the White House as a quick and painless way for Americans to prove they support the agenda of President Donald Trump. In a post on Truth Social, the president described the kits as critical to determining who was a dedicated foot soldier of the MAGA movement and who was a traitor to their country.

“America can ONLY be great again when EVERYONE is loyal to me,” wrote Trump, who went on to blame the previous administration for failing to identify and isolate several virulent strains of anti-Trump sentiment. “Unlike CROOKED JOE BIDEN, the American people LOVE their favorite president of all time! Me! GO ONLINE NOW to order up to 4 test kits so you can ensure the whole family is LOYAL to the commander-in-chief.”

“With your help we are one step closer to being the most obedient country IN THE WORLD,” he added. “Prepare yourselves, radical left haters!!!”