TJ Maxx Adds Meat

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Shoppers Can Now Scour Bargain Bins For Marked-Down Beef, Pork, And More


Published: July 8, 2026

SATIRE


FRAMINGHAM, MA—In an effort to provide customers with an ever-wider variety of merchandise at steep discounts, executives at TJ Maxx announced Tuesday that the off-price retail chain had begun selling meat in all of its stores. Visits to multiple TJ Maxx locations confirmed that alongside their usual offerings of clothing, footwear, and home decor, the aisles of the bargain store were now filled with plastic-wrapped foam trays of ground chuck, boneless chicken breast, and sliced bacon. Speaking to reporters, company leaders spoke of a future in which the words “high-quality discount meat” would be synonymous with the name TJ Maxx.

“TJ Maxx is now sourcing surplus meat products from some of the finest brands in the country and passing the savings on to our loyal customers,” said the department store’s CEO, Ernie Herrman, who noted that patrons could expect to find overstock meat from name-brand suppliers in addition to items with minor defects, like irregular burger patties and bags of uncooked shrimp slightly past their expiration date. “You might have to do a little digging to find the meat you’re looking for, but that’s the kind of treasure hunting TJ Maxx shoppers love.”

“Our inventory will change with the season—in winter, there’ll be beef stew chunks for sale in the checkout line, and at Thanksgiving, we’ll have frozen turkeys thawing on the shelves,” he added. “But the one thing we’ll always offer is grocery-store meat-counter quality at outlet-mall prices.”

At a suburban Indiana location, customers told reporters they were thrilled by the addition, with many bypassing racks of women’s swimwear and embroidered throw pillows to dig through wire bins labeled “Summertime Lunch Meat” and “We Love Poultry to the Maxx.” Shoppers appeared excited as they held up loose chicken tenders they had found hidden underneath a pile of extra-large T-shirts, as well as links of bratwurst they discovered draped over a sale rack of belts and ties.

https://theonion.com/tj-maxx-adds-meat/

[Norrrm]

1. Might not be so surprising. Singer sewing machine stores had Texas Instruments computers.

[sarisataka]

2. Locking

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