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BigmanPigman

(54,750 posts)
Tue Jan 27, 2026, 01:28 AM Tuesday

I can't stop crying!!!!

I haven't cried like this since my dog died. I saw the video of the murder again just now and I have been sobbing in a fetal position on my floor crying, "Why won't they stop doing this to us" over and over and over. My carpet is moist from my tears. It has taken me 10 minutes to even write this post. I can't stop crying!!!!!!

I think I am having a mental breakdown.

36 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
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I can't stop crying!!!! (Original Post) BigmanPigman Tuesday OP
Your angst is understandable. Keep hope alive. LoisB Tuesday #1
I'm having difficulty breathing. BigmanPigman Tuesday #2
Breathe in through your nose, out through your mouth. Breathe. Don't hesitate LoisB Tuesday #10
You're right. BigmanPigman Tuesday #14
You are human oldtime dfl_er Tuesday #3
It's not a mental breakdown alittlelark Tuesday #4
I've been very ill CountAllVotes Tuesday #5
I just threw up...no wonder I'm only 83 pounds. tRump is killing me and all of us. BigmanPigman Tuesday #6
I'm so sorry CountAllVotes Tuesday #11
I'm hoping to reincarnate on a different planet. Earth sucks! BigmanPigman Tuesday #15
Is there someone you can call to help you cope with this trauma Keepthesoulalive Tuesday #7
Actually, I have been listening to podcasts BigmanPigman Tuesday #16
Everyday with this degenerate is a new horror Keepthesoulalive Tuesday #23
I tried to distract myself with something humorous BigmanPigman Tuesday #31
I see and hear you. Hope22 Tuesday #8
Maybe an anxiety attack. Dear_Prudence Tuesday #9
You're describing "mindfulness". BigmanPigman Tuesday #17
Ever try ashwaghanda? JudyM Tuesday #28
No, and I am not opposed to drugs that are helpful BigmanPigman Tuesday #30
It's a plant (evergreen). JudyM Wednesday #33
Thank you for the info and support!!!!! BigmanPigman Wednesday #34
You aren't alone. orangecrush Tuesday #12
Take a break from social media Sector 001 Tuesday #13
That's what I did. BigmanPigman Tuesday #18
I have a son who is about Pretti's age and is an ICU nurse with the same desire as Pretti to help people William Seger Tuesday #19
the fact that you haven't been able to post about it is very understandable orleans Tuesday #22
hang in Shellback Squid Tuesday #20
Control what you can control. Influence and encourage those you can influence and encourage. usonian Tuesday #21
I understand what you're feeling. Duncanpup Tuesday #24
Being an empath EuterpeThelo Tuesday #25
Oh honey mahina Tuesday #26
We all understand your angst LetMyPeopleVote Tuesday #27
B P I am sending you calming, nurturing, healing energy 🩵🧡💚 Clouds Passing Tuesday #29
I have "industrial strength insomnia" BigmanPigman Tuesday #32
Excellent ritual specially for protection. Focus white light into the spleen too, it's the empath organ. Clouds Passing Wednesday #35
I don't know if EuterpeThelo Wednesday #36

BigmanPigman

(54,750 posts)
2. I'm having difficulty breathing.
Tue Jan 27, 2026, 01:33 AM
Tuesday

I think I'm hyperventilating or something. I can't breath.

LoisB

(12,492 posts)
10. Breathe in through your nose, out through your mouth. Breathe. Don't hesitate
Tue Jan 27, 2026, 01:51 AM
Tuesday

to call 911.

BigmanPigman

(54,750 posts)
14. You're right.
Tue Jan 27, 2026, 02:18 AM
Tuesday

I learned how to do breathing and mindfulness techniques since I have always had anxiety and it REALLY does help.

oldtime dfl_er

(7,163 posts)
3. You are human
Tue Jan 27, 2026, 01:33 AM
Tuesday

You have compassion. Unlike those who committed these crimes.

You are a human being. Bless you.

CountAllVotes

(22,130 posts)
5. I've been very ill
Tue Jan 27, 2026, 01:34 AM
Tuesday

My health is poor.
Very sick the past few days.
and diverticulitis going full blast.
Throw in a fall or two.
We are experiencing the pain of the earth.



BigmanPigman

(54,750 posts)
6. I just threw up...no wonder I'm only 83 pounds. tRump is killing me and all of us.
Tue Jan 27, 2026, 01:45 AM
Tuesday

I told my doctor this would happen and it is. I know myself, my body and my disposition. It's inevitable. I am not going to make it to the midterms. I won't make it for 30 more days at this rate. I have learned how to deal with political BS but this is too much for me. My sanity seems to be crumbling rapidly.

CountAllVotes

(22,130 posts)
11. I'm so sorry
Tue Jan 27, 2026, 01:54 AM
Tuesday

I hear you. I've lost a lot of weight too. I cannot swallow solid food.

This sickening world we are in is the cause.

No love, no respect. Just hatred and others trying to live my life.

We need to escape to a private resort somewhere!

for you.



Keepthesoulalive

(2,165 posts)
7. Is there someone you can call to help you cope with this trauma
Tue Jan 27, 2026, 01:45 AM
Tuesday

Please stop looking at videos of this tragedy, looking at it repeatedly does not desensitize you it is making it worse. Please reach out to someone who can help you process this.

BigmanPigman

(54,750 posts)
16. Actually, I have been listening to podcasts
Tue Jan 27, 2026, 02:25 AM
Tuesday

like Meidas since MSM is not welcomed into my home. I have seen videos of the murder briefly and not very clearly. I think I have been trying to protect myself to a degree.

Maybe that's why when I actually sat still for 2 whole minutes tonight and saw it on Larwrence's MS NOW show I completely lost it. The dams broke.

Keepthesoulalive

(2,165 posts)
23. Everyday with this degenerate is a new horror
Tue Jan 27, 2026, 03:32 AM
Tuesday

And we are all trying to keep our sanity. I have to take prescription anti nausea medication because of the stress and anxiety, I am aware of what this is doing to my mental and physical health so I am trying to focus on regaining control of my anxiety. We can’t let this idiot destroy us and the best revenge will be partying when he takes the dirt nap. Please try and find something that brings you joy, plants, movies, tv shows anything that will take your mind off the current situation. The beauty of DU is there are always like minded people willing to help.

BigmanPigman

(54,750 posts)
31. I tried to distract myself with something humorous
Tue Jan 27, 2026, 11:24 PM
Tuesday

so I watched Jimmy Kimmel and he cried twice which made me start crying again. At least I know I am not alone in my reactions to this BS.

Hope22

(4,520 posts)
8. I see and hear you.
Tue Jan 27, 2026, 01:46 AM
Tuesday

My words fail me but know that you aren’t alone. So many of us out here feel this pain. These tragic times are a test for sure. We have to stick together. Be easy with yourself. Your insight and care make you the person you are. Love to you. 💗🙏🏼

Dear_Prudence

(1,084 posts)
9. Maybe an anxiety attack.
Tue Jan 27, 2026, 01:48 AM
Tuesday

1. Breathe in thru the nose. Out thru the mouth. Tune into your environment with your senses. The pressure of the carpeted floor on your body. The sounds of your house. Something you see; its color, texture, it's distance from your hand. 2. Become immersed in a distracting activity. Browse Amazon books. Browse your library website. (I get these kind of attacks. Maybe these practices won't work for you, but I am offering all I've got. Take care.)

BigmanPigman

(54,750 posts)
17. You're describing "mindfulness".
Tue Jan 27, 2026, 02:35 AM
Tuesday

Now I can't stop The Beatles playing "Dear Prudence" in my head on a loop. That song is about Mia Farrow's sister.

Everything you just suggested works!!! Since I have always been anxious I've learned various techniques in order to manage it. It is quite a challenge. I'd kill for a Xanax Rx.

Mindfulness teaches you to just STOP for a minute, breathe deeply and to focus on the reality of a situation and not spiral out of control in a nanosecond.

JudyM

(29,624 posts)
28. Ever try ashwaghanda?
Tue Jan 27, 2026, 12:04 PM
Tuesday

I got ashwaghanda gummies for my mom's anxiety and they worked like a charm, she appreciated the quick relief so much.

BigmanPigman

(54,750 posts)
30. No, and I am not opposed to drugs that are helpful
Tue Jan 27, 2026, 11:20 PM
Tuesday

What is the stuff you named? I never heard of it before. Where do you get it and how does it work?

JudyM

(29,624 posts)
33. It's a plant (evergreen).
Wed Jan 28, 2026, 12:17 AM
Wednesday

Here's a recent overview of benefits: https://ods.od.nih.gov/factsheets/Ashwagandha-HealthProfessional/

You can get it in different forms, including a mouth spray that kicks in pretty quickly. The gummies I mentioned are by Plant People, called Wonder Calm, and include a few other supporting ingredients; you can find 10-gummy sample packs to try. I initially heard about it when I was looking for something herbal to help me not wake up in the middle of the night ... it worked well for that. I hope it works for you!



BigmanPigman

(54,750 posts)
34. Thank you for the info and support!!!!!
Wed Jan 28, 2026, 01:09 AM
Wednesday

I'll try anything at this point. Even Ambient doesn't work very well.

Sector 001

(231 posts)
13. Take a break from social media
Tue Jan 27, 2026, 02:15 AM
Tuesday

Turn out all the lights, get in bed and listen to some soothing music. Let your thoughts turn to happier times.



I sometimes watch videos of puppies and kittens to relax.
https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=Puppies+and+kittens

BigmanPigman

(54,750 posts)
18. That's what I did.
Tue Jan 27, 2026, 02:38 AM
Tuesday

I tried not to play Pink Floyd's "Empty Spaces" video live on #11 for 20 minutes so my neighbors won't complain. It helped me a lot!

William Seger

(12,252 posts)
19. I have a son who is about Pretti's age and is an ICU nurse with the same desire as Pretti to help people
Tue Jan 27, 2026, 02:41 AM
Tuesday

... and I can easily imagine him being so upset about how that woman was thrown to the ground that he'd try to protect her from those goons. So, yeah, this has been so personally upsetting to me that I haven't been able to post about it.

usonian

(23,963 posts)
21. Control what you can control. Influence and encourage those you can influence and encourage.
Tue Jan 27, 2026, 03:01 AM
Tuesday

DU is on overload by reflecting a piece of reality, small but very important.

You have limited control. We all do. Try to make some positive contribution each day.

I pick up the vibes from the concentration on politics, and my answer today was to post a very long email from Indivisible, fixing and checking all the links. Eyes on the Prize.

I am a very sensitive person and cannot watch these videos. I avoid videos, because I can "see" without seeing, and I read "The Rise and Fall of the Third Reich" as a very young person and was horrified just by the reading.

Please find an outlet for your understandable feelings.

I try to post action items. So I wander a bit.
But I do try to post one a day if I can.

I actually have a backlog of altruistic projects. I was looking for a way to connect helpful things for my family and friends and with the larger community. I believe that is taking shape.

If I spend a bit less time on DU. It's not so much FOMO (I have a bit of tech FOMO with Hacker News, but I pick up immensely valuable tech tips there. Just solved a computer problem that way). but Fear of not doing enough for this, the most important cause one could imagine --- saving lives from a nazi death machine --- which was started by the "need" to cover up the largest sex, blackmail and money laundering scheme in the history of the world.

Get to root causes, make them known. Demand answers.
I have disks full of mostly home-made graphics to advance that cause.

Is it just to make me feel good? Honestly, I hope that one or more will take off from here and make a difference.

Peace.

EuterpeThelo

(243 posts)
25. Being an empath
Tue Jan 27, 2026, 03:49 AM
Tuesday

is a curse and a blessing. I understand how you feel. The weight of all of this is just too much to bear sometimes. We can try to engage in self-care, touching grass, finding community and all the other platitudes, but at the end of the day there's no denying that this horrid timeline onto which we've somehow slid just flat out SUCKS. I'm sorry you're hurting. No words can help but know that you are seen and supported here.

mahina

(20,493 posts)
26. Oh honey
Tue Jan 27, 2026, 04:06 AM
Tuesday

I hope your heart finds some comfort. It is all so hideous and brutal and cruel.

I am hugging my dog and watching sweet Japanese films. Breathing with you. Drink water, breathe deep, try to get some sleep, walk, we have. to live through this darkness. For Alex.

sending you love and aloha

LetMyPeopleVote

(176,217 posts)
27. We all understand your angst
Tue Jan 27, 2026, 11:16 AM
Tuesday

I watched Lawrence show two different videos of this murder last night and I was very upset

Clouds Passing

(7,328 posts)
29. B P I am sending you calming, nurturing, healing energy 🩵🧡💚
Tue Jan 27, 2026, 09:19 PM
Tuesday

Turn off the news. Eat. Restore yourself. As an empath learn to protect your self from the bad energy others dump on us. Visualize your whole body enveloped in white healing light 💡

BigmanPigman

(54,750 posts)
32. I have "industrial strength insomnia"
Tue Jan 27, 2026, 11:41 PM
Tuesday

My primary care doctor said this! I already knew it though.

I have found that visualizing my chakras turning into white light while I am attempting to fall asleep does help me. I have done this for over 30 years. I visualize the white light throughout my entire body, as bright as staring into a light bulb. Then once I feel all the nasty stuff is pushed out of me I make sure that the light in my body is semi-permeable. The light stays within my body and it glows around my body as protection from negative thoughts and feelings from outside sources I make it like a cocoon of white light. I need to do it more often. When I do it and it is successful I actually breathe a long, deep sigh. I think that is my body finally saying I am OK, relax and sleep.

Clouds Passing

(7,328 posts)
35. Excellent ritual specially for protection. Focus white light into the spleen too, it's the empath organ.
Wed Jan 28, 2026, 09:24 AM
Wednesday

EuterpeThelo

(243 posts)
36. I don't know if
Wed Jan 28, 2026, 03:51 PM
Wednesday

you are sensitive to noise, but since my husband died, I have found it helpful to listen to meditations when I go to sleep, sometimes on Calm or Headspace, but most often on YouTube. There's a few channels I love: Get Sleepy, Michelle's Sanctuary Stories for Sleep, RainRider Ambience, Sleepy Cat Meditations and Maggie Kelly LPC | Nervous System Reset (which is EMDR music). I still wake up 3-4 times every night, but these help me at least drift off more easily. I hope this is helpful!

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