I have to let my frustration out. Sorry for this post.

[hamsterjill]

Elijah will cross the Rainbow Bridge this afternoon. I am heartbroken. I am SO sick of there being nothing good in this world. With all of the Trump crap going on, etc., everything is just messed up.

I tried everything that I could think of, including working with a cat specialist. I am so sick of evil winning over good. God, what has this fucking world come to!!!!!




https://democraticunderground.com/116199120

[JoeOtterbein]

1. I'm....

....sorry.

(tears)

[hamsterjill]

22. Thank you, Joe.

I appreciate that.

If you have the time, please see my post # 21 here which explains things a little better.

Thank you.

[LatteLady]

2. So sorry for your loss

It’s heartbreaking I know. We are all thinking of you and your beloved boy.

[hamsterjill]

23. Thank you, LatteLady.

It really is heartbreaking to lose one of them.

If you have the time, please see my post # 21 here which explains things a little better.

Thank you.

[Ponietz]

3. Sail on, Elijah

🕯️

[hamsterjill]

24. Thank you, Ponietz.

Elijah is free and whole again. I miss him already.

If you have the time, please see my post # 21 here which explains things a little better.

Thank you.

[blm]

4. 🕯️

💔

[hamsterjill]

25. Thank you, blm.

If you have the time, please see my post # 21 here which explains things a little better.

Thank you.

[umroman]

5. I'm so sorry, hamsterjill.

Much love to Elijah and to you.

[hamsterjill]

26. Thank you very much, umroman.

I see you are a new DU'er. You will enjoy your time in this group. It is a special bunch.

If you have the time, please see my post # 21 here which explains things a little better.

Thank you.

[sinkingfeeling]

6. I'm truly sorry. Even excellent vets can't save them all.

[hamsterjill]

27. They can't, sinkingfeeling.

As much as we wish they could. Elijah was estimated to be between 8 and 10 years old and had evidently had the kidney disease or some time. Cats can notoriously hide illness - particularly those outside.

I hope he is at peace now. I believe he is.

If you have the time, please see my post # 21 here which explains things a little better.

Thank you.

[AltairIV]

7. There are no words at a time like this.....

My deepest sympathy on your tragic loss.

[hamsterjill]

28. Thank you, AltairIV.

I appreciate it. As I said to someone upthread who is also relatively new - you will gain a lot out of this particular group on DU. It is a special bunch of compassionate souls

If you have the time, please see my post # 21 here which explains things a little better.

Thank you.

[surfered]

8. I'm hoping to be reunited with the dogs (one at a time) I've had in my life.

[hamsterjill]

29. It has to be!

If there is a heaven, and we are to be happy there - then how could we NOT have all of the babies we've loved? They deserve paradise more than any human for their unconditional love.

If you have the time, please see my post # 21 here which explains things a little better.

Thank you.

[CousinIT]

9. I am so sorry! You are doing the most loving thing for your baby Elijah

And that is a good thing. I know it doesn't feel good, but it is the epitome of love - letting them go, and then we take on their suffering so they can be at peace.

Hugs to you my friend.

[hamsterjill]

30. Thank you, Cousin IT. I am struck by your comment as to taking on their suffering.

I've never thought of it that way, but I think you are correct. We want them to be at peace. We just don't want to lose them.

If you have the time, please see my post # 21 here which explains things a little better.

Thank you.

[3catwoman3]

10. In our family, we call this most difficult and compassionate of decisions...

...liberating the spirit.

It's always hard, even when it's right.

[hamsterjill]

31. Oh, yes, 3catwoman3. It s always hard

Even when it's right! We know, I think, when it's right. We just don't want to have to face it because we don't want to lose their precious parts of our own lives.

If you have the time, please see my post # 21 here which explains things a little better.

Thank you.

[Karadeniz]

11. Im so sorry! I learned long ago that part of my animal care dutiess was to be

there at the end. Thankfully Elijah won't know what's happening. Our deepest sympathies.....

[hamsterjill]

32. Thank you, Karadeniz.

Yes, it is my feeling, as well. We are to be with them - loving them to the final moment - and then some!

If you have the time, please see my post # 21 here which explains things a little better.

Thank you.

[stillcool]

12. so, so very sorry

[hamsterjill]

33. Thank you, stillcool.

One of my all time favorites!!!

If you have the time, please see my post # 21 here which explains things a little better.

Thank you.

[dem4decades]

13. As someone that lost his dear sweet dog a few months ago, i am sorry for your pain.

Losing a friend in the midst of this nightmare is the worst. Look for the positive out there.

[hamsterjill]

34. I am sorry for your loss, dem4decades.

Thank you for your kind words. I will find the positive. It just takes a little while.

If you have the time, please see my post # 21 here which explains things a little better.

Thank you.

[JMCKUSICK]

14. I'm so sorry for you loss hamsterjill,

Please remember, as difficult as it is to do right now, you have mountains of joyful memories to keep you and the pain you feel is in direct proportion to what you're going to miss.
Please don't let everything that's going on around us stop the celebration of a life that gave so much
If my suggestion offends you, please let me know and I'll remove it.
God Speed,
Love, John

[hamsterjill]

35. Appreciate that very much, John.

Your post in no way offends me. It is wise advice. It's just hard to remember that sometimes in the midst of a turmoil.

If you have the time, please see my post # 21 here which explains things a little better.

Thank you.

[niyad]

15. Lady Bast, please take Your Elijah gently home in Your loving arms, and

send peace and comfort to his grieving loved ones.

I am so very sorry for the coming loss of your precious boy. I know that mere words cannot help, but know that your DU family is here for you, sharing your grief.

[hamsterjill]

37. Thank you, niyad.

I appreciate that very much. I appreciate my DU family being here!

If you have the time, please see my post # 21 here which explains things a little better.

Thank you.

[Walleye]

16. So sorry. Everything seems so hopeless now.

Maybe get yourself a kitten when a period of mourning is over, and keep the faith.

[hamsterjill]

38. Thank you, Walleye.

No kitten, but I understand the sentiment. Life goes on.

If you have the time, please see my post # 21 here which explains things a little better.

Thank you.

[NCgayguy]

17. My heart breaks for you!

Dear hamsterjill,

I am so deeply sorry for you loss, truly!

I do not get to log on as much as I wish I could but your post stopped me in my tracks. Your painful words expresses exactly the way I feel since My Tommy's death on Jan 1st this year. I repeat your exact words in my head every day! Every day!

I wish I could just sit with you and Elijah through this sacred moment and be there for you both. How I hate what you are about to experience, the pain, the questions, the loss! Elijah is not just a pet or a cat. Elijah is your love and family just like My Tommy is my love, my husband, and only family I've ever had. I sincerely mean it when I say my heart breaks for you. Please know I will continue to think of you and Elijah for the rest of the day. Tonight I will include you and Elijah when I get on my knees, by my bed, and say my prayer. I can't type anymore, I'm too emotional and the tears are coming. Just know I care!

Rest in peace and love, Elijah.
Reis

[hamsterjill]

40. Oh, NCgayguy - your post made me cry in a good way.

Thank you for being so honest and sweet. I am sorry for the loss of your dear Tommy. As a rescuer, I am always grateful and happy to know that one was loved and had a good home. I would have NO doubts about that for your Tommy. So thank you for the love you gave him. I believe he KNOWS that and feels the love even now.

If you have the time, please see my post # 21 here which explains things a little better.

Thank you.

[NCgayguy]

51. I thought about you two all day!

I prayed and ask Tommy and our 3 furbabies to welcome Elijah and keep him part of our family. Thank you for your kind words.

May You Be Healthy, Safe and Happy AND LOVED!
Reis

[Nigrum Cattus]

18. My condolences about your friend

This link might help a little
https://grief.com/the-five-stages-of-grief/

[hamsterjill]

41. Thank you, Nigrum.

Appreciate that information.

If you have the time, please see my post # 21 here which explains things a little better.

Thank you.

[MIButterfly]

19. Dear hamsterjill, I am so sorry for your loss.

I can feel your pain and frustration through your words. My heart goes out to you on this horrible day. May your memories of Elijah help ease your pain somewhat. It's one of the hardest things we do when we say good-bye to our furbabies. I wish I had the words to comfort you, but no words seem adequate enough. Please know that many others care and understand what you're going through.

RIP, dear Elijah. You were loved.

[hamsterjill]

42. Thank you, MIButterfly.

It is definitely one of the hardest things to face.

If you have the time, please see my post # 21 here which explains things a little better.

Thank you.

[femmedem]

20. I'm so sorry for your loss and heartache.

I hope it helps a little to know how lucky he was to have you taking care of him.

[hamsterjill]

43. Thank you, femmedem.

I hope he felt lucky. I know that *I* felt lucky to have HIM.

If you have the time, please see my post # 21 here which explains things a little better.

Thank you.

[hamsterjill]

21. It's been a long day...

First, thank you all for the kind words, wisdom and compassion in your responses to my post. I hope to answer each one as time allows because they were all very special to me today. I felt like each one was a needed warm hug – at a time when I really needed a warm hug.

Elijah has been set free from his failing body. I told him that he would be whole again, and to wait for me and all of the others to join him. You see, for me, if there is a heaven and I’m to be happy there – then my babies will have to be there.

Elijah paid me the highest compliment that a street cat can pay a human being. He started showing up last winter, fearful, cold and hungry. Angry at the world and certainly angry at humans. I’ve seen it many times. He had to have been, at one time, loved and comforted. He had obviously been tossed out, or lost, or something. He’d been on his own for a while and had become a warrior in order to survive. He wanted NO part of me.

Over time, as he understood that he had a warm place to rest, that the food would always be on time, and that I wasn’t a threat to him, he started to loosen up – eventually allowing me to come close and pet him, and then to pick him up and hug him.

You see, THAT is the greatest compliment. When one of them has given up on humans, but finds one that they can finally trust enough to relinquish all that fear and anger and coldness. He took a chance on me! I was and still am, very flattered.

The post that I linked in the OP pretty much describes me and what I do, as well as what has been going on with Elijah medically. I’ve been in rescue for well over 40 years, and I’ve had to make the decision to euthanize over a hundred times. It is NEVER easy, and it doesn’t get easier the more you are forced to face it. In fact, I think it’s cumulative, and I think it gets harder. Each one is special in their own way, individual and unique. Each one leaves a hole in my heart.

But making that awful decision and how you handle it ALSO depends on what’s going on in your life and the stresses you are facing at the time. All of the Trump stuff and the fear and the stupidity and the anger that we ARE ALL enduring right now just got to me and I needed a place to let my thoughts out – to others who I knew would understand. I am grateful that I have this place to come to in order to do that.

All of us “animal people” are quite intuitive in my opinion. We learn to communicate and speak to other species by watching their expressions, listening to their sounds, paying attention to their actions, etc. THAT makes us intuitive about humans, too. We learn to read those same signs in human beings. So, WE see what is going on, I believe, even when others don’t.

We know what Trump is, know what he’s capable of, and there’s nothing that blindsides us about his corruption. Knowing that is a heavy burden to carry – and we are all, here in this group, carrying that burden. There is reason for real fear and angst, and we can’t ignore the facts in front of us.

So, thank you again from the bottom of my heart for hearing my hurt, knowing my pain, and understanding me.

I don’t plan to go to the protests tomorrow. I think it’s pretty obvious that I need a little time to reflect and heal. But I hope any and all who do go know that I am proud of you and appreciative of you for doing it. We have to take this country back and regain our safety and comfort and our way of life.

Peace and hugs to each and every one of you.

[slightlv]

48. Elijah would have been proud to know what you've written here.

A better testament to the love the two of you felt for each other could not have been written. Having lost more than a few of my elderly babies over the last couple of years, I can feel the pain of your heart breaking. And each of those were ferals or castaways who found their way to my porch. Each one was special in his own way, speaking with his own voice in a language of purrs and sometimes (if we're lucky) soft cat paws on our cheeks. They are more than our companions. They are more than just "animals"... they are more than just ferals or castoffs. They are sentient beings who are built with a need for love just like we are.

And I agree... wherever my babies have gone once they crossed the Rainbow Bridge... that's where I want to go. Any place else would be hell.

Peace to you, hamsterjill. I'm sure Elijah will be sending you his love, still, from the great Universe. If you're lucky, you might even get a glimpse of him out of the side of your eye once in a while. I don't believe they ever really leave us. They take care of us now, just as we took care of them.

May Bast hold you in her paws and give you comfort.

[CousinIT]

52. THANK YOU for the rescue work you do. This is the work of angels.

It's essential, hard work, and a labor of love. Everyone can't do this kind of work, making you a special person in this regard.

Elijah was lucky to have you, and you were lucky to have him too.

I hope it's not too long before his memory brings a smile rather than a tear.

Blessings to you!

[OAITW r.2.0]

36. That truly sucks.

Sorry for your situation. They are part of the family and their absence hurts.

[hamsterjill]

44. The are most definitely part of the family!!!!

Thank you OAITW r.2.0

If you have the time, please see my post # 21 here which explains things a little better.

Thank you.

[Ocelot II]

39. So sorry! Peaceful passage, Elijah...

“We who choose to surround ourselves with lives even more temporary than our own, live within a fragile circle;
easily and often breached. Unable to accept its awful gaps, we would still live no other way. We cherish memory as the only certain immortality, never fully understanding the necessary plan.

Another cat? Perhaps. For love there is also a season; its seeds must be resown. But a family cat is not replaceable like a wornout coat or a set of tires. Each new kitten becomes its own cat, and none is repeated. I am four cats old, measuring out my life in friends that have succeeded but not replaced one another.”
― Irving Townsend

[hamsterjill]

45. Thank you, Ocelot II.

He is free now, and I am grateful to have had the time with him.

If you have the time, please see my post # 21 here which explains things a little better.

Thank you.

[Bayard]

46. I really feel for you, Jill

I've lost so many fur kids of all species over the years, and it never, ever, gets any easier. I can't even imagine enduring it as many times as you have.

Elijah knew you loved him, and it eased his passing. You do good work, and I admire you for it.

Take care of yourself and your other kiddos. There's so much craziness now, sometimes you have to actively go look for some good to get away from it all. Go for a walk, dig in your garden, read a good book, give some scritchies to a deserving little soul.

Big hugs to you.

[hamsterjill]

47. Thank you so much, Bayard.

There truly IS just so much craziness. Absolute crazy stuff.

I'm about to get off, find a boring escapism movie and let the day end.

Appreciate it!

[Deuxcents]

49. It's so hard but you're in the good company with those of us who know the pain you're feeling now

And can recall our babies who brought us so much comfort and love. I hope this time is gentle on your heart and just let the world go by for a while. ((💐 )

[SheltieLover]

50. Deepest condolences, Jill

[XanaDUer2]

53. I'm sorry