Republican stunt blows up in their faces - Another Day - Brian Tyler Cohen

[TexasTowelie]

BTC: Republicans are the party in power, but when it comes to fixing our country's problems, they're totally powerless. This is just another day.

For anyone who's been to an airport recently, you may have noticed that things feel a little bit different.

(cut to video from CNN)
Brianna Keilar: Many travelers are suffering at the airport today as security wait times stretch longer than usual, in part due to a lack of staffing. TSA workers are calling out. They are under pressure from working without pay because of the month-long partial government shutdown.

(cut to studio)
BTC: Yes, the constant joy and serenity that each one of us feels when we're floating through the paradise that is every airport terminal will now last a little longer thanks to the fight going on in Washington. And it turns out there's only one party to blame.

(cut to video from Fox News)
Sean Duffy: TSA agents have missed a partial payment. They just missed a full payment. These are men and women who don't make a lot of money. In these places where this is happening, you're seeing really long lines, whether they're one hour, three to four hour lines at airports. And I think if you stand in that line, it's one thing, Maria, if you're by yourself, but if you're with some little kids or any kids for three or four hours, it's horrible and so, you can thank a Democrat who cares more about making sure that the 15 million people that they let into this country under Joe Biden.

(cut to studio)
BTC: Wow. I'm not sure what's going to last longer, these understaffed security lines at our airports or Republicans blaming Joe Biden for pretty much everything. And let's just put the whole blame game over DHS funding to the side for a moment here. I'm having a hard time wrapping my head around transportation secretary Sean Duffy being the guy complaining about wait times in airports when he said stuff like this.

(cut to video from NewsNation)
Sean Duffy: We want mini gyms. So, if you want to walk through the airport and you have a little bit of time and you want to crank out a couple pull-ups or a couple push-ups.

(cut to video of Sean Duffy doing pull-ups in airport)
Unidentified: Come on. One more. One more. One more. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

(cut to video with RFK Jr. doing pull-ups)
Unidentified: Oh, you got one more. I think he's got 10. Yes, sir. Let's go. Get up there. He wants one more.

(cut to studio)
BTC: Yeah. Super weird how Duffy's in airport crunch fitness marketing campaign didn't work out. I'll tell you who's really upset about this is RFK. Come on, John. Keep your jeans on, but take your shirt off. It's totally normal.

You know, I just wish someone could give me an impartial explanation for why Americans find themselves in this frustrating situation.

(cut to video from NewsNation)
Unidentified: The Democrats, they don't believe in reasonableness and common sense and it's sad to me that they're like right now blocking DHS.

(cut to studio)
BTC: Huh. That's funny because I feel like blocking funding for DHS is a very reasonable and common sense thing to do based on everything that we've seen in the last year. Let's take a look at the Democrat's demands here, shall we?

Prohibiting ICE agents from wearing masks, requiring them to display their IDs, restricting their ability to use force, and blocking them from conducting operations at schools, churches, and medical facilities.

Now, those sound pretty damn reasonable to me. I mean, if Democrats were holding up DHS funding until every ICE agent started dressing like Chappell Roan, I'd get it. But last I checked, that's not happening. But it might be cool if it did.

But this snarky tactic of thanking Democrats for the current long lines at airports has really taken off in the Republican party. House Majority Whip Tom Emmer got in on it, so did Senator Katie Britt, as did the GOP's main account. DHS is responding to tweets from airports with, "Thank a Democrat." And Mike Johnson even put out a video.

(cut to video)
Video stating “Democrats shut DHS down 30 days ago now, Americans are feeling the effects.”

(cut to studio)
BTC: Right off the bat there is so much wrong with this video.

First, Democrats shut down DHS and now Americans are feeling the effects. Well, not Alex Pretti or Renee Good, but I guess other Americans are feeling the effects.

Second, Democrats did not shut down DHS. They used the power that they have as the minority party to kindly request that mass marauders stop murdering people on the streets of America.

And thirdly, did Mike Johnson rip that ominous music off of the social network? Because it works perfectly.

(cut to film video)
Unknown actor: The truth is, she has a nice face. I need to do something to take my mind off her. Easy enough, except I need an idea.

(cut to studio)
BTC: And to think that little idea now helps Republicans flood Americans Facebook feeds with this type of scary propaganda.

(cut to video)
Video montage: TSA employees are currently working without pay for the second time in 6 months. DHS says more than 300 of its TSA workers have quit since February. Airport officials said the shutdown was causing longer than average wait times due to a shortage of TSA workers.

(cut to studio)
BTC: I'm going to be honest, it's hard not to get caught up when you see those images and hear those stories. But I guess that's today's Democratic party for you. Democratic politicians are happy to make TSA workers suffer if it furthers their agenda.

(cut to video from CNN)
Jake Tapper: Democrats have put forward legislation that would pay TSA agents, just not ICE or Customs and Border Patrol.

(cut to studio)
BTC: Oh, that's right. If you're a TSA agent, you could actually thank a Democrat because it turns out they are the one party fighting to get you paid. Democrats have been so determined to make a deal with Republicans that Texas Democratic Representative Greg Casar even went to the airport to make his pitch.

(cut to video)
Greg Casar: Let's just fund TSA and Senator Cornyn and the Republicans said no. They could go tomorrow to Washington DC right now. Excuse me. You can go straight to Washington DC and join with me to fully fund TSA. Senator Cornyn should put his money where his mouth is. Hi, senator. Senator…

(cut to studio)
BTC: Holy shit. Now, I know that Congressman Casar had an inkling that Senator Cornyn would be dropping by, but that was truly the closest thing I've ever seen in real life to a cameo in a sitcom. It's one step below the staff in The Office talking about how they can't stand the new guy who got hired and then cutting to Dwight and John Cornyn. But let's hear what this week's special guest had to say.

(cut to video)
John Cornyn: Why don't you tell your your Democrats to vote to pay these…

Greg Casar: Let's do it. Let's do it.

Cornyn: No, you do it. We don't yell at me yelling at me.

Casar: Let's go. Let's Let's talk for a second. There's a bipartisan bill to fund just the TSA. Can we do that together?

Cornyn: Not acceptable. Not acceptable to fund just the TSA. How about all the terrorist attacks like we see down on Sixth Street? You want those to continue? These people are keeping us safe. Tell the Democrats to vote for funding the DHS.

Casar: Let's talk about each one. Would you fund the TSA with me?

Cornyn: No.

Casar: Sounds like instead of bringing people

(cut to studio)
BTC: Whoa. John Cornyn sure was in a hurry to get inside. What did he have to do? Have a special classified briefing with the heads of security? Or maybe he decided to shave off a little of that $7 million war chest he's amassed for his Senate campaign just to show the people of Texas he feels their pain.

(cut to video)
Cornyn: And what we did today is just offer them a token of our appreciation by delivering some Whataburgers to them.

(cut to studio)
BTC: Well, isn't that sweet? Although I'm pretty sure those TSA agents would have preferred that other popular product--Whataboutourpaychecks?

But here's what I can't get over. This is a party that has done everything imaginable to accrue more power that now refuses to use any of that power. Republicans are the majority party and they have moved heaven and earth to get there.

The reality is that if Republicans wanted to solve this problem, they would solve the problem because these are not people who have ever allowed pesky nuisances like the courts or the laws or the Constitution to get in their way. They undermine our electoral process. They claim these folks are peaceful patriots. They were even on board with hanging their own vice president. But now that they claim that their hands are tied?

If this were the Avengers, it would be like Tony Stark constructing the Iron Man suit, but then just using it to build a ballroom. We are in this mess because of poor leadership and I know one man who finds that to be completely unacceptable.

(cut to video from TODAY Show)
Trump: If there is a shutdown, I think it would be a tremendously negative mark on the President of the United States.

He's the one that has to get people together. I'm a deal man. I made hundreds and hundreds of deals and transactions. He never did deals before.

How can you expect a man that's not a deal man that never did a deal other than frankly becoming president of the United States? He never did a deal. How's he going to corral all these people?

Meredith Vieira: So, how would you do it now? Now you're in the Oval Office right now.

Trump: I would get everybody together and we'd have a budget and…

Meredith Vieira: They've all gotten together.

Trump: Well, that's because they don't have the right leader.

(cut to studio)
BTC: That's right. If America just had the right leader, our worries would be over.

Republicans have no interest in governing. Their only interest is in campaigning and presenting themselves as the perpetual underdogs, the perpetual victims because with governance comes compromise and accountability and under the leadership of Donald Trump, these people refuse to compromise or be held accountable for anything.

But don't worry, America. While you wait for hours at the airport, pay more at the pump to fill up your car with gas, pay more at grocery stores to feed your family, and pay more at the hospital for health care, it's worth remembering that the GOP has your back in other ways that you can always rely on. Republicans won't hesitate to be

(cut to video)
Cornyn: Delivering some Whataburgers to them.

(cut to studio)
BTC: Not bad, right?