Oh man...another bad night.

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12. Please accept my sympathies.

With your indulgence, I am going to pass along a suggestion that is given to people with cutting disorders, of all things. Consider holding an ice cube firmly in your hand. Naturally, it will be uncomfortable, and that is the point.

Feel the sharp, mildly painful sting of the cold object in your hand and focus on the sensation. Let the pain in your hand displace your awareness of all the pain in the world, which, unfortunately, you are carrying in your soul.

Live in the moment of pain and let your hand carry the burden for as long as you can stand it. It may help to divert your mind from inducing worse symptoms throughout your body. As an additional benefit, the cold may calm your heart rate somewhat.

Beyond this small, practical action, I have no answers or advice for you. But, as many here have pointed out, you are not alone in your struggle. I hope that this knowledge offers you some small comfort.