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[sir pball]

1. As a 30+ year chef, amateur food historian, and general food nerd, I concur.

I'm far from insular–the single best thing I've ever eaten were river shrimp fresh from the net at a tiny shack on the road to Kribi in Cameroon–but I also despise when chefs try to make a "high class" Big Mac or Mexican Pizza. Yeah, it is about as far from whole food, prepared with care and standards, as your local dive from the Bar Hemingway, but…sometimes you just want a goddamned Big Mac, and up till now only Americans (and Canadians ) truly understand.

As far as the ranch thing…omg that makes me happy. It doesn't even have to be ultraprocessed crap out of a bottle; the best ranch ever is the one I make with all real ingredients, at least according to everyone at every restaurant I've ever worked at, I do use granulated garlic and onion and dried dill and parsley because the flavor is WRONG with fresh herbs and that is a hill I will die on as a professional, but beyond that all I use is homemade mayo, sour cream, and buttermilk. Maybe I should share my recipe for Europeans…

And as I'm sitting here typing a stream of consciousness as I watch the video, the reason Americans open straws like that is because Americans expect straws in their drinks and opening it like that lets your server give you a ready-to-use straw in your drink without touching any unwrapped part of it.