Is there any professionals here who can identify what a stalker is. I definitely have a problem

[Mountain Mule]

39. My stalker is relentless

When I sit down on my couch to watch Rachel, my stalker jumps up next to me and appears to drink in her every word. When I step outside, my stalker is right behind me, demanding that I take him on a ten mile walk. Of course, he's right there when I go into my kitchen to fix myself something to eat. He demands a tribute of a chunk of raw hamburger or a container of Amy's Pad Thai to lick out. He even follows me to bed and snoozes beside me all night long. How awful is that?

Worst of all, my stalker is getting to be older and I'm just not ready to consider existential worries when it comes to his regard. My stalker should live forever as far as I'm concerned. He may just be a mutt that I got from the pound; he may just be a hound who likes to sing along with the local coyotes; he may just be a gangster of love who almost knocks me down when I return from buying groceries; but I love my stalker and his stalking ways with all my heart. May all stalkers everywhere live long and thrive!