Well, it's done. My husband is in a memory care facility. The first 24 hours

[Teacher of the Year]

79. Breathe Deeply, light a candle, put your feet up.

Dear Ziggysmom,

I won't sugarcoat anything, yours is a dismal situation as old as time. I'm so sorry and there isn't much I can say that will make it much better, but this move allows you to do something you have not been able to do for a while. Focus on just loving him. Sneak in his favorite foods. If you are gutsy, smuggle the dog in under your coat (if you have one).

You may have noticed that our roles change as we go through stages in life. You just wrapped up your phase of caregiver and now begin the new phase. Just be the light in his day. That's it. Forget everything else. They mourn a passed time and are not where you should spend your energy now.

I know you are exhausted. Simply, physically and emotionally drained. You must get some rest. When you are at home you are now taking care of yourself with the same quality of care you gave your husband. That means: sleep. Eat. Sleep some more.

I don't know what your days are like. If you are driving or physically close to your husband--perhaps consider a late sleep, then go visit for the morning, back home for a Meal and a nap. Then an afternoon visit until the time to leave feels right. You do not have to be there all day every day.

If you are there all day. (I understand) how hard it is to read or care about something on the tv. Might I suggest a mindless iPad game where you are just matching colors or candies or blocks-mindless but addictive games--they will help the clock hands move a little bit faster.

My heart is with you friend. You have done the right thing even if it does not feel like it. Promise me you will nap and recharge your batteries. My best.