I was down in my teen years, and then met the love of my life. We got through one shock after another, and the depression was manageable. I had a hysterectomy that I didn't want in 1996. I went through surgical menopause and ended up as depressed or worse than in my teens. The doctor gave me some medicine. I took it for awhile and gained a lot of weight. I've been overweight most of my life. I had quit smoking and lost that weight just a few years before the surgery, and it all came back. Smoking didn't, so that was a plus. I didn't feel like the medicine was doing any good, so I quit taking it. I know my emotional/physical baseline is feeling low, and I accept that that's something always lurking. I have a birthmark on the palm of my right hand, and along with depression, that's part of me.
I'm more open about my outlook now, and people are surprisingly understanding. I think the anxiety is harder to cope with. My oldest grandchild started driving last year and I was having a lot of physical symptoms. Neither depression or anxiety stays in its own lane, does it? I had lost about 50 pounds during Covid, and thought this time it'd stay off. But I was so anxious, I asked my current doctor for anti-anxiety, and most of the weight came back as soon as I started taking it. I found ways to cope with how I was feeling, and stopped taking Buspar. The kid is a careful driver and once I rode with them, I was relieved. All of my brothers died in car accidents decades apart. The first loss is probably the root of the rest of how I live, always waiting for another shoe to drop. Anyway, I can still function, even if I'm dragging a ball and chain. On days that it gets the better of me, I take it easy. I have a bubble, and I stay in the bubble. Even on DU, I stay in the bubble.
There are differences. There is depression, sadness, grief, feeling down, feeling blue, being lonely. All of those can ov erlay depression, that black pit that lives in my chest. My husband burned some CDs for me years ago. I have one that has all of my favorite sad songs. I play that one and usually get over anything but the depression by the last song.
I don't even know any more if there are cures for depression or if all us, male or female, have to find our own way. I hope we can all lift each other and we never drop too far down.
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