Last edited Sat Jul 4, 2026, 08:43 PM - Edit history (3)
It sounds like you both are in a lot of pain, both separately and together. Know that we DU'ers reading your post this evening wish you all well.
May I give a stranger's take on what you've shared. For basic context, I am also gay, and longtime partnered, although not married, and we both got our bachelors on typewriters.
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Adding more info: in general, I agree with what others have said -- he is saying what he feels, and saying something difficult to you because you are so important to him. This (to me) is a big sign of trust and love. You might not be as able to see this clearly, because your own feelings are getting in the way -- as if you are wearing blurry goggles. That is totally understandable, given what you've said in other posts. Our own pains can make it hard to be present for our partners.
That said, if you feel that he is in crisis, and that he might harm himself (or you, but you didn't say anything to make me worried about that), please keep this info with you. Copy and paste it into a contact on your phone, or save it as a clickable note. This is how to get help where you are (going by your profile):
In Minneapolis, the best mental health crisis team depends on the nature of the emergency. For immediate, unarmed response to non-violent behavioral emergencies, call 911 and ask for the city’s Behavioral Crisis Response (BCR).
Dispatched via 911, this unarmed team is operated by the city and Canopy Roots. They are sent for low-level, non-violent mental health crises to provide trauma-informed de-escalation and connect individuals with community resources.
This is the non-emergency number for the Crisis Response Team: 612-348-2345.
Links to those services:
https://www.minneapolismn.gov/government/departments/community-safety/work/alternatives-police-response/behavioral-crisis-response-teams/
https://www.canopyrootsmn.com/crisis-response
Given that this is a holiday weekend, please do not hesitate to call 911.
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