He just told me that he is feeling su*****al.

[OldBaldy1701E]

7. No, he replied to me when I asked him why he was acting like he was so pissed at me.

He has been a taciturn bear for the past few weeks, and I had hoped that this relief that you all so generously gave us would help his mood. If anything, he seems even more down. He told me that and he has not said a word to me since.

When I fail, I fail spectacularly. In every way.

And, just as I was typing the above, he came in and said that he was trying to hold it together. I told him how it hurts that he feels like he can't talk to me, that he has to walk away rather than come to my arms. He just kind of nodded and went back to bed. He has to be up at 4 a.m., you see. To go do something he doesn't want to do because that is the only thing either of us can do. Just as I have had to beg for money while feeling like I just ate a shit sandwich.

I warned him. He proposed, I replied that it would be the biggest mistake of his life, before I said yes.

Now, he knows, I guess. I feel so empty.