Last edited Sat Dec 17, 2011, 07:44 PM - Edit history (1)
but most of us have been through other things that feel similarly like failures - divorces, loss of jobs, foreclosures, etc. It sucks having to face people for the first time after any one of those events, and it feels humiliating and stressful. But you probably have friends who have been through that sort of thing and didn't feel like they should stay hidden away from people in shame, right?
Go, mourn your friend and find some closure if you can in the services. Trade stories about your friend. If you find other people there who have been through hardships like yours in some way, be supportive of them. I think you'll be fine. If anyone comments on your weight, it's okay to say exactly what you said here, you had a loss, you gained some weight in the stress of coping with that, you have a wonderful son and no regrets.
I also don't know what you've read about weight gain, this is stuff that maybe you know but it was new to me in the last couple of months. If you know it, sorry to assume you might not. Anyway, I didn't know that when you are stressed, your body produces more cortisol, a stress hormone that causes your metabolism to slow. When that happens, your body reacts to carbs and insulin differently than when you aren't stressed, and that can cause weight gain even if everything else in your diet is exactly the same. (It's not just calories in/calories out, in other words, the stress hormone affects the calories out as much as exercise can). Once you store more fat because of the cortisol, your fat cells pull nutrients to support themselves - leaving your muscles and other organs malnourished even though you are eating enough in theory. Our bodies react to that by feeling hungry; our appetite increases, which keeps adding to the cycle.
It was kind of freeing for me to grasp that concept, that we don't just get overweight because we eat too much, but also we eat too much because our cells are demanding it - and there's a physical reason why that's happening. For me, it was helpful to understand that whole deal, instead of just "blargh, I feel like eating again, I have issues."
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