Mourning the death of my former husband (father of my 3 kids).

[2naSalit]

12. The fact that...

You are seeking relief from this stage of grieving is a sign that you'll soon be over with the biggest part. There will always be lingering snippets from the past but they will be a passing thing rather than something that inhibits your regular daily life as they can be now.

For some, writing as you are doing, is good therapy. I have found that when I have unfinished concerns with someone who has passed, I will write them a letter and then read it in front of a fire of some sort and then burn it to ashes so that my words can reach them in the spirit world through the cleansing fire and turning them to smoke to pass through the barriers of the spiritual separations (or so the practice is alleged to do). Psychologically, it helps symbolize the transfer of information that was not transferred in this realm which releases the angst of having that concern weigh you down and gives you license to move forward.

Anyway, just a thought. I hope your journey to Europe will help you with the change in scenery! Have a great time.