History of Feminism

BainsBane

(56,260 posts)

22. I see it as about us rather than them

Thu Jun 5, 2014, 08:59 PM

Jun 2014

People are who they are. I can't control that. The only person I can control is myself. So I will make an effort to ignore and not engage with the toxic shit. I don't have to like or be friendly with them. Rather, I will devote myself to issues I care about and do my best to waste no more energy on petty bickering. I would be surprised if anything we do or don't do will change their behavior. I had some people on ignore for months who continued to attack me regardless. When I proposed a truce, I had no illusions of establishing any kind of positive relationship with people whose very first post to me and every subsequent once since has been hostile. I can't control who they are. Rather, for the benefit of members of this group, I would like to see HOF used for better purposes and not waste ink on petty disputes. That is a far less gracious approach than Boston's, but it's the best I can do given the circumstances.

Edit history

Please sign in to view edit histories.

Recommendations

0 members have recommended this reply (displayed in chronological order):

24 replies

= new reply since forum marked as read

Highlight:

We have had some very difficult times [View all] boston bean Jun 2014 OP

:) shenmue Jun 2014 #1

Dont you dare stop discussing misogyny seen here at DU randys1 Jun 2014 #2

Hey Randy! I don't think it's in me to stop! LOL boston bean Jun 2014 #3

Proud to know you, wish you could have met my mother... randys1 Jun 2014 #4

I wish I could have too. She sounds like my kind of people! boston bean Jun 2014 #5

yep, you have to have someplace else to go when it gets depressing as all hell... CTyankee Jun 2014 #6

Aren't you right. I just immerse myself into reading a good book, boston bean Jun 2014 #9

I will think on this and post for you, boston bean, and anyone else...but first...what are we CTyankee Jun 2014 #11

It's not just about me. boston bean Jun 2014 #14

with grave reservations I will post this CTyankee Jun 2014 #16

Thanks, but I hope you didn't think I meant for you to find a religious painting. boston bean Jun 2014 #18

No, I didn't but I couldn't think of a non religious one right off the bat. So I went with this. CTyankee Jun 2014 #19

It is so hard to do that because the images are so tightly linked with boston bean Jun 2014 #20

K&R nt redqueen Jun 2014 #7

you are good people, bean PeaceNikki Jun 2014 #8

With people like you around, I'm in like and excellent company! boston bean Jun 2014 #12

That's very cool ismnotwasm Jun 2014 #10

You folks here are cool! boston bean Jun 2014 #13

This message was self-deleted by its author Violet_Crumble Jun 2014 #15

I suck sometimes too, boston bean Jun 2014 #21

doesnt work for me when in apology a person still holds up a few. seabeyond Jun 2014 #17

I see it as about us rather than them BainsBane Jun 2014 #22

I think what you say is quite good. boston bean Jun 2014 #23

what you said is sincere and speaks to your own experience. None of us have the exact same story. Tuesday Afternoon Jun 2014 #24