My heart is breaking..

[Desert grandma]

Last edited Mon Feb 9, 2026, 12:25 PM - Edit history (1)

Dear DU friends, I have not posted much the past month or so because my husband who was doing so well on his skin cancer (squamous cell carcinoma) treated by immunotherapy, is currently at the VA hospital in ICU. The treatment had some uncommon side effects which impacted his kidney function. His creatinine level upon admission was 3.6. Normal is .7-.9. The treatment is steroids, beginning with heavy doses and tapering off. His numbers are improving, as the level today is 2.4. The numbers are headed in the right direction, but they seem to be causing great agitation and even combative behavior. The biggest concern is his agitation as he was trying to pull out IVs. They have those mitts on him that look like boxing gloves. He hates it and keeps trying to get them off. He told me quite clearly today.."Get these off!". He is hard of hearing and the medical providers seem to think his cognitive function has also deteriorated because in the past he was diagnosed with mild cognitive dementia. This morning he did respond to the doctor and told her his name. The medical team is going to assess him on Monday to gauge any improvement. They want to move him into in patient hospice perhaps in the short term to continue the tapering off of the steroid. He is not eating or drinking fluids so they are giving him fluids via IV that contain potassium, magnesium, glucose and other nutrients. He needs to be able to eat and drink fluids. I am praying that he will be able to recover enough that he can come home. He is the love of my life and we celebrated our 51st wedding anniversary last November. He is an amazing man who retired as an engineer from Honeywell years ago and went back to school to get an MS in Social Work and an LCSW certification. He then worked for 8 more years helping homeless vets. He is a wonderful father and I cannot imagine my life without him. Please send caring thoughts and prayers if you are so inclined. Two weeks ago he was in the kitchen talking and laughing with his sister. I am overwhelmed trying to process this
sudden crisis.

UPDATE! My husbands's lab results appear to be trending in his favor. They are titrating the steroids down. My family is putting pressure on me to put a DNR in place. I feel that as long as his labs indicate healing is taking place, I do not want to do that. I am in the process of attempting to change his doctor in the ICU. I do not trust this doctor