This line has really affected me.

[OldBaldy1701E]

I will post a link to the teaser trailer I am quoting.

So, there are now 'teasers' about the upcoming Hail Mary from Marvel, i.e.: Avengers: Doomsday. One of them involves the 'X-Men' from the 2000s movies. (You know, Hallie Berry, Hugh Jackman, Sir Patrick Stewart, etc.) The trailer is interesting, but what is said during it has really hit me hard.

"The question isn't 'are you prepared to die?'... the question is... who will you be... when you close your eyes?'"

My answer is 'no one'. Completely pathetic. Because I am no one. I have had no impact on anyone or anything, except when my curse comes into play and I end whatever it was that I was involved with. (Every band I have ever been in ended right after I joined. Every band I started either ended within a year or decided to play with someone else due to 'creative differences', which is another term for 'we don't like your direction and we are too lazy to discuss it'.)

Who will you be? I sincerely hope that everyone else gets to 'be' whatever it is that you are aiming for. My time is done. I understood that after the first time I was left alone with issues that could have been helped, but I am not rich or powerful, so on one felt there was enough of a reason to bother.

When I close my eyes, I will be no one, because I lived as no one.

It was not by choice.